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When Owen was listing all of the people won over by Riggs, I quietly and momentarily added my name to the roll. I’m sorry, Owen! I’ve been duped by his nice-guy act, his lies, and his face. I completely bought into Riggs’s Sad Story about fighting to take Megan’s place on that fated helicopter ride.

Apparently, that handsome face has been lying to us all along. Say it ain’t so, Riggs!

After some personnel shuffling, Owen, Riggs, and Meredith end up in the back of an ambulance as part of a transplant retrieval team. The trio arrives at the hospital, only to find that the heart and liver meant for Owen’s patient are no longer viable. Not even Riggs’s charm (or his defibrillator paddles) can bring that heart back.

Owen is angry. Owen is angry because, once again, nothing is Riggs’s fault. Owen is angry because he just found out that Riggs bought Amelia that drink that helped her face-plant off the wagon. But mainly, Owen is still angry about Megan.

After yet another outburst about how much he loathes Riggs, I was ready to declare my allegiance to Team Riggs’s Face, and also to lament my dearest Dr. Hunt’s tiresome transformation into a broken record. Meredith is also tired of it, and she tells Owen to slow his roll. She heard Riggs’s story and wants Owen to let it go. When Owen hears what Riggs told Meredith, all he can do is laugh. Owen spoke to Megan before she “died,” but Riggs was nowhere near her — he was off having an affair. Megan got on that helicopter to get away from Riggs.

Well, that’s not great.

Once Owen realizes Riggs has been spreading a false version of events, he confronts him in his favorite place to have a personal argument: a busy hallway in Grey Sloan! Owen wants Riggs to know that he knows. Riggs is stunned.

Here’s the thing: Even if Riggs is a dirty liar and cheat, it’s not like the guy knew that Megan’s helicopter was going to disappear. But I get Owen’s feelings. Not so secretly, I’m hoping there is another twist to this whole story. I so badly need Riggs’s Face to be good. Someone needs to come clear things up. Tick tock, Megan. Tick tock.

Owen and Riggs aren’t the only two docs snipping at each other. The residents are getting real catty, folks. Jo and Steph are both in a tizzy over their applications for a big research grant. I’m a little fuzzy on the exact details because I was focused on all that Handsome Boy Fighting, but it’s all very important. The winner would have to relocate to the East Coast for a year, and the attendings nominate a resident for Bailey to select as the winner. Intense, I know.

Stephanie’s worried that Amelia, her strongest attending ally, has forgotten about her ever since Webber’s scramble exercise put Penny on the neurosurgeon’s service. She wants back in. Penny, who admits to having no interest in the grant since she’s a Grey Sloan newbie, is happy to help Stephanie get re-familiarized with Dr. Shepherd.

Enter Wilmer Valderrama. That is not a typo, people. Fez is at Grey Sloan! Okay, so Kyle Diaz is no Fez. Kyle Diaz is a charmingly cocky rock star in the making who suffers from an MS-related hand tremor. Amelia is going to operate on Kyle’s brain — while he’s awake — which will hopefully stop the tremor. You guys, I’ve watched many a doctor show in my day, but seeing this “patient stays awake while getting brain surgery” story line never gets less terrifying. Fez’s head is completely open and he’s hitting on Stephanie! Like, I know she’s a catch, but … YOUR BRAIN IS EXPOSED, DUDE.

While Stephanie gets saddled with keeping the patient calm during surgery, Penny will be assisting Amelia directly. Steph bitches about Penny to Jo, and, of course, Penny overhears down the hallway. I can’t reiterate this enough, Grey Sloan doctors: Stop yelling about personal things in the hallway!

After a pep talk from Callie, Penny realizes she doesn’t want to take a back seat to Stephanie while working with Amelia. Needless to say, Stephanie and Amelia attempting to one up each other over an EXPOSED BRAIN makes the scene a little tense. Thankfully, it doesn’t ruin the surgery, and by the end of it, Kyle is able to play his guitar like he could before the tremor. Which is to say, insanely well. Fez! Who knew?!

When Stephanie goes to apologize to Penny, Jo informs her that she heard through the Karev grapevine that Penny did apply for the grant, and she looks like a shoe-in. (Turns out, she is.) Stephanie and Jo act like those dumb cheerleaders they mocked a few episodes ago and shame Penny for being shady. Um, shouldn’t ladies be supporting each other? Let the best resident win, girls!

Truth be told, I saved the Averys-versus-April drama until the end of this recap because I am just so annoyed by it. If you recall, Mama Avery sauntered in to Grey Sloan last week and told Jackson she wants to stick it to April, legally speaking. Jackson is not into it. Neither is Webber.

Webber thinks his wife is completely wrong in pitting Jackson and April against one another, but she stands firm. She’s just a mama bird trying to protect her very good-looking baby bird. Catherine finally explains her emotional reaction: When she and Jackson’s father split up, he tried to take Jackson away from her. He didn’t know that you don’t mess with Catherine Avery, but he learned. He learned quickly.

It was only a matter of time until April caught wind of Catherine’s plan — and she’s pissed. So pissed, it seems, that she’s able to forgive Arizona long enough to fill her in on what the Averys plan to do.

April and AZ are working together on a pregnant teen named Jenny with an aneurysm issue. April wants to disregard the 14-year-old girl’s wishes and tell her mom that she is pregnant, but Arizona forbids it outright. They argue about their obligations to the patient, and about the consequences of keeping the pregnancy a secret, and about Jenny putting both herself and her baby at risk, and about her mom’s right to know that. They argue a lot.

Yes, this is all a not-so-thinly veiled parallel to what went down between April, Arizona, and Jackson … except April is the one advocating to tell Jenny’s mom and Arizona wants to stick to doctor-patient confidentiality laws. Am I wrong in thinking that this makes no sense? April made it clear to Jackson that she believed in a mother’s rights above all else, but now she immediately wants to betray Jenny’s trust? This same thing just happened to her. Pick a side, Kepner.

Of course, this is all to service April’s change of heart about Arizona. Now April feels comfortable confiding in her friend about the current situation. If Jackson wants to come after full custody, he’ll have to come hard. She’s fighting back, and she does so by serving Jackson with a restraining order. Too bad April forgot the dude she married that one time is a lovely human. When she comes home to find a brand-new crib in her apartment with a note from Jackson saying he doesn’t want to fight, she realizes she made an uh-oh. A big uh-oh.

Laughter Is the Best Medicine, Except for Real Medicine

• “Why are these spaces so small? These spaces cannot contain how awesome I am.” So much truth, Edwards.
• I don’t know who I am anymore! I laughed at another Jo moment. Her obtuse “I had sex this morning” response to Stephanie’s rant is pitch-perfect. Can Jo stick to the comic relief from now on?
• The Sisters Grey are relegated to the sidelines this week, but their kitchen powwow explaining the complexities of sisterhood to Maggie was lovely. Even better? Amelia freely admitting she is annoying. The girl is self-aware. We can’t deny her that.
• Try listening to Webber say the word buttinski and not laugh. You can’t!
• Reminder of Miranda Bailey’s greatness: When Callie and Alex back out of helping Mags with her sister drama because they’ve got sex plans with their ladies, Bailey’s excuse is that she’ll be in bed by 8:30. I am Bailey. Bailey is me.

The Sob Scale: 3/10

Do tears of joy for Penny’s imminent departure count? Oh, right. I created the Sob Scale, so I say yes. Yes, they certainly do. #ByePenny

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